Regret
by Light of Blue Fire
Summary: She taunts her. She hates her. She has broken her from the inside. This is Blacksky. She was a former loner, and has finally been accepted by most of the clan, but one cat never lets her forget it. And then, when anger overcomes her, she truly regrets it. This is a challenge for Dawn of These Clans.


"Hello, kittypet." I flatten my ears, turning to face an all-too-familiar tabby-and-white she-cat whose claws tear up the ground beneath her paws as she meets my clear blue gaze. I let out a low growl and face her, stuggling to keep my fur flat.

"What do you want, Brightclaw?" I hiss, taking a step towards her. Out of all the cats in ThunderClan, Brightclaw is the only cat who continues to perennially taunt me about my loner origins. And, she had formerly convinced the rest of the clan to believe that I was formerly a kittypet. Of course, only a few cats actually believe her.

Brightclaw shrugs, her broad shoulders rippling. "Nothing," she purrs, false sweetness and innocence lacing her ice-cold voice. "After all, can I not visit the kittypet who somehow became a friend of ThunderClan?"

I let out a fearsome snarl, narrowing my blue eyes to slits as I unsheathe my long claws, digging them deep into the soft ground. "Do you want to see how much of you is left after you are torn to pieces by a _kittypet?"_ I lash my tail, and my eyes blaze. I am definitely a better fighter than Brightclaw, and both of us know it. A smirk plays across my face as I sense the slightest wave of fear radiate from Brightclaw, which is covered by a look of pure hatred.

"Yeah, right." Brightclaw returns my glare. "Well, we both know that the kittypet always loses to the warrior. Anyway, as if you'd actually attack me."

"Watch me," I retort grimly. I drop into an attack crouch, bunching my muscles and lifting one of my forepaws so that my long claws gleamed in the morning sunlight. I close my eyes for a heartbeat, then open them again. _You deserve it._

I throw myself at Brightclaw, but my claws do not find their mark, as a distinctive silver-white shape throws me back. I hiss in disappointment as the shadow of a tomcat falls over me, and I jump to my paws to face the cat who had thrown me off course. I blink in dismay as I see blood dampen the tom's pelt. Before I can say anything, the tom shoves me gently but firmly to one side, then faces me.

His blue-gray eyes bore into me. "She's not worth it, Blacksky." I tear my gaze away from his, then turn back to face Brightclaw, who smirked triumphantly. I lash my tail once again, then turn back to face the tom. "Come on; let's go elsewhere."

Reluctantly, I pad after my mate, enjoying the way my dark fur brushed against his. His nose touches mine, and our tails twine as we pad alongside each other. As we cross an ancient oak that towers over us, reaching its branches towards Silverpelt, I halt. "Well?"

"You need to stop that." He tips his head to one side as he speaks.

I shake my head. "It's not my fault, Stormheart. You've seen the way Brightclaw acts!"

"But this is ridiculous! Don't give her the satisfaction of provoking a fight, it's what she wants. You don't want that, do you?" I shake my head again. Stormheart nods. "Good, Blacksky. I know you're not like that. You're a nice cat..." He trails off, staring at his paws.

"So are you," I reply softly, and he nuzzles me, the two of us pressing against each other. Neither of us could deny it; the two of us loved each other with all our hearts.

* * *

I pad briskly along, not even waiting for Brightclaw. The two of us have the sad misfortune of being placed on patrol together. I bound away through the trees, leaving Brightclaw far behind me, and I skid to a halt at the ShadowClan border.

Sighing, I pause and turn around, as Brightclaw emerges, scowling, as usual. "You waited, kittypet?"

"Stop it!" I yowl, my claws sinking into the ground.

Brightclaw smirks. "Stop it!" Her voice takes on a high imitation, one that sounds nothing like me. I let out a low growl, suppressing the pain in my heart. She has no idea how torturous it is to be reminded, day in and day out, of a worthless past, a terrible origin that is looked down on by the clans.

And it isn't even true. I wasn't a kittypet. I was never a kittypet. I was a former loner, but my life is with the clans, now. I wouldn't go back to my life as a loner for all the prey in the world. I came to the clans as a young kit, and clan life is all I've ever really known. At least most cats accept me, now. And one specific cat loves me, just as much as I love him.

"Don't you dare," I growl, my paw itching to swipe at her.

"Don't you dare," Brightclaw imitates in a ridiculously high voice, but the voice is laced with cold taunting. Casually, she gives her fur a wash, and pads ahead of me to mark the border. I'm too angered to join in and help her. I close my eyes for a brief heartbeat. _StarClan, protect her from my claws!_

I hiss. "If I'm a kittypet, I wonder if you're a rogue. You certainly don't have the skills of any cat, forget a kittypet or rogue."

Brightclaw steps towards me, then thrusts her muzzle in my face. "You should leave the clan, kittypet. You're not welcome here."

"Neither are you," I retort. Without another word, Brightclaw turns and stalks away through the trees, vanishing into the forest, much to my relief. I stare at her receding shape, letting out a breath. _Good riddance._

* * *

"I've had enough." I stalk towards Brightclaw, who circles me triumphantly. I ignore how Stormheart warned me moons ago, of how Brightclaw had always wanted a fight. I will give her one, and I will win.

I let out a furious snarl that would send any warrior running, but not Brightclaw. Fear flares in Brightclaw's amber eyes, but it settles down once more, only to be masked by hatred and anger. While her face is contorted with fury, mine is coldly expressionless. "The entire clan knows you're useless," Brightclaw taunts me, slowly weaving around me, as she glimpses my slightest hesitation.

Now, my mind is made up. I throw myself at my tormentor, my claws fully unsheathed as they tear through Brightclaw's tabby-and-white fur. All I can see is blood, and I mercilessly claw and bite. I cannot bring myself to let Brightclaw go this time. She has gone much too far. Brightclaw's swipes grow weaker and more disoriented as I continue to slice through her.

And then, the haze lifts, and I find myself standing above Brightclaw, who was no more than a torn mass of bloodied fur.

 _No._ I stare at my claws, now stained with Brightclaw's blood. I drop my gaze to Brightclaw, who weakly lifts her head, then drops it again. I flinch as I see this action. This should never have happened... I am at a loss of words.

"Brightclaw..." I glance at the cat who had been my tormentor, the cat who had wanted me dead. "I shouldn't have..."

Brightclaw doesn't move, but her amber eyes flicker open. Her jaws move, and I realize that she is trying to say _'Sorry.'_ I flinch as I hear her words, and I shake my head, my tail drooping. My black fur pricks slightly. "No. I'm sorry, Brightclaw."

I cannot bear to see any cat, even Brightclaw, suffer like this. Brightclaw, this time, speaks audibly. "Kill... now... sorry..." I close my eyes for a heartbeat. And then, my bloodstained claws swing around and stab Brightclaw, right in her heart.

Almost immediately, a yowl sounds.

I look up, startled, and my heart drops to my feet. Has some cat seen what just happened?

A familiar shape springs down the slope, and I close my eyes, willing this to be imaginary. But when I blink, the shape is still there, slowly getting closer, closer... I drop to the ground, feeling tears spring to my eyes. "This was an accident!"

"I warned you against this," a voice growled. "And you never listened."

"Stormheart, this was an accident," I mew softly, a lone tear dripping from my cheek and landing onto Brightclaw's limp body. The two of us have stared at each other for so long, unmoving, unblinking, and I feel as though my heart will shatter. It has begun to rain, as well, so Brightclaw's shape is already sodden.

Stormheart doesn't reply at first, but slowly, he lifts his gaze to look at me. "You're a murderer." His voice was taut with disbelief.

"No, Stormheart!" I beg. "This was an accident!"

Stormheart shakes his head slowly. "I loved you all this time... I was loving a murderer." I open my jaws to reply, but Stormheart silences me with a flick of his tail. "No, Blacksky. This is the truth. And you cannot run from it." Before I can respond, Stormheart has turned and fled through the trees.

 _No._ I race after Stormheart, my heart leaping into my throat.

I would follow him anywhere, whatever happens. And I wish there was some way I could call him back. I race across the territory, tears filling my eyes. I freeze for a heartbeat. I am alarmed by the blind, careless way he is heading toward the edge of the gorge.

I yowl out his name, but he does not respond. I scream again as he throws himself over the edge.

And, just like that, he's... gone.

* * *

Now, I truly regret it. This was never supposed to happen. I was never supposed to kill Brightclaw. I let my anger overcome me.

May StarClan forgive me, when the time comes.

And, only now do I understand the true meaning of regret.


End file.
